Order Only: Fallout
Oct. 24th, 2009 09:42 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
alt_siriusI've been scanning through the journals looking for anything like real information on this so-called Grim Truth killing. I suppose I got a little obsessed with it, since Sally had to tear me away from it to get some sleep.
Of course, she knows me as Nigel, so I had to explain what was bothering me rather obliquely. I asked her if she followed the news from home at all, if she reads the journals ever.
'No,' she told me. 'It's too depressing. Besides, whatever they're about now, it's nothing to do with us anymore.'
I think I went a touch spare. 'Are you British?' I asked. 'Are you a witch?'
'Of course, that's not the point,' she said.
'It is the point,' I told her. 'We may be living apart for the time being, but part of the problem has been that the world has turned its back, ignores what happens inside those wards. Until we add our voices to the afflicted, they succeed in their message - that Muggleborns are less than "real" wizards.'
I tried to say it all calmly but I must have grown more passionate, because Sally's eyebrows rose. 'I didn't know you were so political,' she said wryly.
I shrugged - I hope non-chalantly. 'Not political, necessarily, but engaged, I suppose,' I hedged. 'It's still home.'
She's a good girl, is Sally. 'So, what's happened to get you in a lather?' she asked.
Well, I told her - with I hope convincing detachment - about how this Sirius Black bloke has been writing, and now someone had taken a direct reprisal in response to the essay. I even mentioned the irony that this Black fellow had quipped to a detractor that collateral damage - people getting hurt because of his posts - was indirect, an incidental effect and not 'his wand casting the spell' - and yet, intentionally or not, Sirius Black spoke out ... and now a man is dead.
'What do you think he ought to do?' she asked. 'Stop writing?'
I had to admit that no, to stop would be to concede, to send the message that the Death Eaters are more powerful than the truth. Still, I can't pretend it doesn't affect me. That wizard had a life. Maybe he was only surviving, praying for the chance to improve his circumstances. But he might have had a family, he surely had friends, goals and dreams. Someone picked him, from ten thousand possible victims, to pay the price for my words.
It's a lot to shoulder.
Of course, she knows me as Nigel, so I had to explain what was bothering me rather obliquely. I asked her if she followed the news from home at all, if she reads the journals ever.
'No,' she told me. 'It's too depressing. Besides, whatever they're about now, it's nothing to do with us anymore.'
I think I went a touch spare. 'Are you British?' I asked. 'Are you a witch?'
'Of course, that's not the point,' she said.
'It is the point,' I told her. 'We may be living apart for the time being, but part of the problem has been that the world has turned its back, ignores what happens inside those wards. Until we add our voices to the afflicted, they succeed in their message - that Muggleborns are less than "real" wizards.'
I tried to say it all calmly but I must have grown more passionate, because Sally's eyebrows rose. 'I didn't know you were so political,' she said wryly.
I shrugged - I hope non-chalantly. 'Not political, necessarily, but engaged, I suppose,' I hedged. 'It's still home.'
She's a good girl, is Sally. 'So, what's happened to get you in a lather?' she asked.
Well, I told her - with I hope convincing detachment - about how this Sirius Black bloke has been writing, and now someone had taken a direct reprisal in response to the essay. I even mentioned the irony that this Black fellow had quipped to a detractor that collateral damage - people getting hurt because of his posts - was indirect, an incidental effect and not 'his wand casting the spell' - and yet, intentionally or not, Sirius Black spoke out ... and now a man is dead.
'What do you think he ought to do?' she asked. 'Stop writing?'
I had to admit that no, to stop would be to concede, to send the message that the Death Eaters are more powerful than the truth. Still, I can't pretend it doesn't affect me. That wizard had a life. Maybe he was only surviving, praying for the chance to improve his circumstances. But he might have had a family, he surely had friends, goals and dreams. Someone picked him, from ten thousand possible victims, to pay the price for my words.
It's a lot to shoulder.
no subject
Date: 2009-10-24 04:22 pm (UTC)The fact is that they are murdering people every day and enforcing policies that murder indirectly: the blood is on their hands, not yours. If they opportunistically dedicate a handful of their atrocities to you, you must not believe that you have 'caused' those crimes. The sum of their cruelty will not be increased one jot by your efforts: it is much more likely that your words will bring their regime to an end and save untold lives. You must discipline yourself to take this longer view.
How sure are you of this Sally? I don't suppose you considered obliviating her, did you? It's too late now, I expect, to take just her memory of that conversation, but, well, you know very well what concerns me, so I shan't harp on it further.
Take care of yourself, Sirius.
no subject
Date: 2009-10-24 04:52 pm (UTC)Still, it's one thing to accept that my writing runs the risk that the Death Eaters will take their frustration out on bystanders. It's rather another to know with certainty that putting quill to parchment signs a death warrant. I suppose it's no different than last year when Malfoy and his cronies wreaked havoc on the camps and assigned me the blame. Somehow this is worse.
Well. I'm sure I'll find something that outrages me enough to write despite the consequences, eventually. They have a way of provoking commentary.
As for Sally, don't fret. She's a half-blood herself, Italian mother, British father, very well-known in Rome for her stage act. She's young enough not to remember me from Hogwarts. And even if she did, she's no spy for Voldemort.