Order Only: Completely Gobsmacked

Yeah, okay, well, that was weird.

Laura came in to speak with me a short while ago. She started by thanking me for everything with Justin, for suggesting she look into the history, you know, to come up with a credible claim to wizard blood. She was going on about how much of a difference it's made to his situation at school.

And then ... she started talking about how it would be even better for him if he had a wizard for a step-father.

'Forgive me if this is prying, but what about the boy's actual father?' I asked politely. ‘I mean, Justin’s mentioned him. He’s not … in the picture any longer, then?’

'He will not pose a problem,' she said tightly. I left it, as it was clear she didn't wish to discuss him.

Instead, I said it sounded like a possibility, if she wanted to meet some French wizards.

'Oh no,' she said, 'I couldn't marry a Frenchman. I was thinking more along the lines of a British wizard. Someone who escaped and knows--'

'Someone sympathetic, I see,' I said. 'Well, there are quite a number of English wizards outside Reims and other ... pockets, here and there.'

'It's also important that he get on well with Justin, of course,' she said.

'Of course,' I agreed. 'I mean, if your goal is to marry to help protect him.' I didn't add that I didn't think it was a very good reason to marry; that didn't seem to be any of my business.

She looked at me expectantly, so I continued, 'If you want assistance figuring out which wizards are liable to be a good choice, I know the bloodlines fairly well. I can--'

'No,' she said, so soft I could barely hear her. ‘I don’t need to review eligibility. I’ve already chosen.’ Then suddenly, I thought I took her meaning.

'Er, Laura, are you--I mean, to say, you're not suggesting .... Do you want me to ask you to ...?'

She sighed. 'You're a pureblood. You and Justin quite like each other. And I believe that Nigel Cullenden is a respected, recognised figure in the European wizarding community.'

'Well, let's leave that aside, for a moment,' I said, 'as Nigel Cullenden is just a cover. You realise that there's a price on my head?'

'In England,' she said with a shrug.

'Yeah, but with agents all over who'd love to get their hands on me. And one of Justin's teachers is marrying none other than Lucius Malfoy's sister!' I replied. 'If you're really after Justin's protection, Laura ... I'm the last wizard you ought to marry.'

She studied her hands.

'Don't get me wrong,' I continued, worried now that I'd hurt her feelings. 'You're ... a very attractive woman, but ... I'm not the marrying kind.’ (I figured I was putting it mildly!) ‘And I think you owe it to yourself to consider your own feelings, not just Justin's well-being.'

'I thought I was considering them,' she answered, smiling sadly.

I felt like an utter prat then. 'I’m sorry. It's just ... there are so many reasons I'm the worst possible choice for that sort of thing. You'd be asking for disappointment. And I can't be the steady influence you're looking for - I simply can't risk it. Nor can you,' I added.

'No, you're right,' she said after a moment. 'It's a foolish notion. Please, let's forget I proposed it. Excuse me.' And she left.

I mean to say.

Circe, I tried to let her down easy.

Sorry, this is rather a first for me. I've been nothing but professional (and platonic) with her (despite the servants' ideas). And regardless of her treating the whole prospect like something out of a Dickens novel, I could tell she .... Well. I swear, I never suspected she felt anything like interest in me as more than a tutor for Justin. She’s warmed up considerably since I first joined the household, but I’d never have said her manner with me was what you’d call … inviting.

I just hope it doesn't turn awkward. She's as likely to go back to that cold air Andi always used to have when she was cross.