I think he doesn't know, half the time, what to do with you, Harry. He expects you to behave in certain ways and you can't, you're not that person. So he's surprised when you don't perform to his expectations because it never occurs to him that you're you're own sort of person. The sort your mum and dad would be proud of.
But that's why I think you feel pulled in all directions, because he can't decide how to turn you into the man he wants you to be.
My parents did sort of the same thing - not to that extreme, of course. My father never expected me to commit murder for him. But he did have a way of ignoring me, and Regulus, until it suited him to put us on display. Mother was even worse when it came to shifting the ground we thought we stood on. One never knew whether she wanted to kiss us or curse us. All I can tell you is that it's not you, Harry, it's not your fault, and if you can't please him - and you can't, you never will - then it's not worth worrying about succeeding in whatever he wants you to do. Stay true to yourself. Don't go out of your way to defy him but don't compromise yourself just to keep him from going mental. If you need to run, just run. You, Hermione, Draco - any of you. It's not worth sticking around if you think he's going to kill any of you.
As for the ritual, I don't know any more than you do why you had to be there. We have some theories, but that's all they are. I think he wanted you to see him create the Horcrux. I think he still thinks you might embrace the Dark Arts and emulate his examples. Albus had another thought. I don't know if you want to hear it but I think you deserve to know. His theory was that Voldemort had you brought there in case something went wrong with Selwyn. So he'd have a ... backup, if you will. Another potential vessel, in case he needed someplace else to lodge. Or - there may be other things he thought he could use you for.
But that's the point, Harry: You already know that he doesn't see you as anything but a piece in his chess game. We'll show him he's wrong to underestimate you but for now, it's probably better that he thinks you're just a rebellious teenager who is no threat at all.
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branchandroot
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Date: 2013-06-16 05:45 pm (UTC)But that's why I think you feel pulled in all directions, because he can't decide how to turn you into the man he wants you to be.
My parents did sort of the same thing - not to that extreme, of course. My father never expected me to commit murder for him. But he did have a way of ignoring me, and Regulus, until it suited him to put us on display. Mother was even worse when it came to shifting the ground we thought we stood on. One never knew whether she wanted to kiss us or curse us. All I can tell you is that it's not you, Harry, it's not your fault, and if you can't please him - and you can't, you never will - then it's not worth worrying about succeeding in whatever he wants you to do. Stay true to yourself. Don't go out of your way to defy him but don't compromise yourself just to keep him from going mental. If you need to run, just run. You, Hermione, Draco - any of you. It's not worth sticking around if you think he's going to kill any of you.
As for the ritual, I don't know any more than you do why you had to be there. We have some theories, but that's all they are. I think he wanted you to see him create the Horcrux. I think he still thinks you might embrace the Dark Arts and emulate his examples. Albus had another thought. I don't know if you want to hear it but I think you deserve to know. His theory was that Voldemort had you brought there in case something went wrong with Selwyn. So he'd have a ... backup, if you will. Another potential vessel, in case he needed someplace else to lodge. Or - there may be other things he thought he could use you for.
But that's the point, Harry: You already know that he doesn't see you as anything but a piece in his chess game. We'll show him he's wrong to underestimate you but for now, it's probably better that he thinks you're just a rebellious teenager who is no threat at all.