Order Only: Okay

[alt_sirius]

Kingsley, I owe you an apology. I realise that most of you don't remember Peter and you don't know exactly what happened just before Lily and James were killed, how they went into hiding.

The fact of the matter is, all this time, I've thought Remus was the traitor, Remus was the one who betrayed them to Voldemort. You all know that. But it wasn't him at all. It was Peter.

I'm still not sure how it happened, though. Frank, you said he looked smug. That just doesn't sound right. I'm sure if he was the one who told Voldemort where to find James and Lily, it was under duress. Not that it's any excuse. He should have died rather than betray them, the rat.

I just wish I'd known the truth then, or it all might be different now. Dumbledore's one of the only people who know that we tried to protect James, Lily and Harry with the Fidelius, and that I was to be their secret-keeper. At the last moment - just two days after that memory you saw of Remus and Peter in the pub - I convinced James to switch it to Peter. We thought it was brilliantly clever. No one would ever suspect that we'd make Peter our secret keeper. I mean, first off, everyone knew how thick James and I were. But beyond that ... well, you saw him yourself, Kingsley, and Frank, you knew him, at least a little, through the Order. Peter was aces with a lot of things, like forgery, munitions and diversionary tactics, but a dab hand at duelling he never was.

Well, we switched, all right. Peter even convinced me not to tell Remus about the change of plans. If what he told Remus in the pub was really of his own volition, it's because he was trying to keep us from trusting each other to shift suspicion off himself. But ... I still don't know why he did it. Voldemort must have got to him somehow, that's the only explanation. He might even have been under Imperius. And of course we'll never know his real reasons, will we?

So it seems I've been a perfect arse to Remus all this time for no reason, and I've thought Peter a tragic martyr on behalf of our friends, when it's Remus who's been unjustly treated. I should never have snarled at you, Kingsley, for speaking ill of Peter. I should have guessed it all along, in fact.

Now I only wish we had the chance to face him again; I'd kill him with my bare hands if I could.

Comments

[alt_kingsley]

Don't waste another single moment worrying that you've offended me, my friend. As Caradoc will tell you--at great length, if you get him going--I have a pretty thick hide. I expected emotions to be raw with whatever we discovered, but I'm just glad we've cleared him, and we have a decent place for him to go now.

I really liked him, I must say. I can see why you considered him a good friend, way back when. And I trust, when next you meet him, that there'll be no barrier to renewing that friendship again for good.

(Minerva, the Pensieve is re-transfigured and back in the same hidey-hole, for you to pick up again).

[alt_sirius]

Ta, mate.

[alt_arthur]

Discovering you're mistaken is hard, and don't I know it. Merlin knows that as the parent of seven children I've had plenty of chances to have that rubbed in my face.

All you can do is pick yourself up and dust yourself off and keep on going.

[alt_molly]

You and Remus will be able to talk honestly with each other, at least. I hope that will help to, well, not fix things. You can't undo what's been done.

But I hope you'll be able to begin again.

[alt_alice]

It's a bit of a shock to me too, darling.

I remember tutouring him in school, and although he was just as much of a troublemaker as the rest of you lot, he didn't seem to have a bad bone in his body.

Perhaps it's as you said, and something happened that forced his hand. Maybe he was under Imperious. I don't suppose we'll ever really know the whole truth about why he did what he did. The most important thing right now is that Remus is cleared, and back where he belongs.

And sweetheart, I know you all too well, and I suspect that you're being rather hard on yourself at the moment. I think you were so angry at Remus for such a long time because he was a very dear friend, and what you thought he did hurt all the more because you were so close.

I also know Remus. And I know that he isn't the sort to hold a grudge.

This isn't your fault, Sirius. There's no way you could've known everything.

[alt_lupin]

Even after everything, I still can't quite believe it. I suppose I just don't want to believe he'd do something like that, not to Lily and James, not Peter.

[alt_sirius]

If nothing else, you'd think the little wanker would have more gratitude, after the way we looked after him all the time, or at least more trust that we'd continue to protect him.

Moony, I ... well, I'm sorry, of course - so sorry you've no idea - but even that seems inadequate.

And I'll understand if you need more time to forgive me. This little number of mine makes all of sixth year seem positively minor in comparison, and I know how idiotic I was at 16.

So. Welcome back, anyway.

[alt_lupin]

I forgive you.

[alt_sirius]

Thank G

I say, that's dashed decent of you, old chap!

[alt_lupin]

I am an exceedingly decent chap. Everyone says so.

I can be obstinate about it and refuse to speak to you for a while, if it'd make you feel better.

[alt_sirius]

Ta, I'd rather let's don't. Eleven years of not talking is enough, I'd say.

[alt_lupin]

I quite agree.