Order Only: Happy Birthday, Allie
Jan. 31st, 2012 01:43 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
alt_siriusHope everything arrived all right.
Have Moddey any interest in cast-off robes and the like? We were just saying a couple of nights ago that we really ought to give them where they'll be useful, but not so close to London that they might be recognised.
Have Moddey any interest in cast-off robes and the like? We were just saying a couple of nights ago that we really ought to give them where they'll be useful, but not so close to London that they might be recognised.
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Date: 2012-01-31 07:00 pm (UTC)In terms of the robes... depending on the pieces, we certainly could make use. I'd say jumpers and coats are a bit more in demand, but all-weather robes would be lovely, and the girls are always bemoaning their lack of pretty things, so we could make up some nicer dresses for them out of some of the fabric too.
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Date: 2012-02-01 12:25 am (UTC)We'll send things along as we come across them, then.
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Date: 2012-02-01 12:49 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-02-01 04:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-02-01 04:33 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-01-31 08:19 pm (UTC)I hope the year ahead is full of lots and lots of happy times. And visits from us, too, some of us.
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Date: 2012-01-31 09:37 pm (UTC)Private Message to Tonks
Date: 2012-01-31 10:38 pm (UTC)Re: Private Message to Tonks
Date: 2012-02-02 04:16 am (UTC)I know you know this already, but Sirius was so much closer to his friends--to James Potter and Remus, especially--than he was to his parents or even his brother, and stories keep coming out about how it was his friends Sirius learned from and relied on when he was having such struggles with his parents. Or. That isn't quite right. It's not that he says that exactly, only that's what he really means, I think.
And this is awful to say, but it makes me feel sometimes that I don't belong here, because I'm not part of any of that. And I'm not part of them, either, obviously.
Did they tell you Sirius finally opened his brother's room--he hadn't all this time, you know?
I haven't asked him about it more than what he's wanted to say (that there were books, mostly), but he did show
meus one of the photographs he found. It's of Sirius and his best mates at school. Remus (so pale and young!), James and the other one, Pettigrew, and it's just so clear they're everything to each other. The three of them, anywiz. It's a funny sort of picture. I think Potter had just finished telling a joke when it was taken, and the three of them are all falling about laughing. Peter must have dropped something just as it was taken, so he sort of looks surprised and then he reaches down and disappears out of sight, so it's just Sirius and Remus leaning in on James while they all laugh and laugh.And that's how it is. They've just always been, you know? And I never really was, even though it took a long time for me to realise.
Don't think it's all awful or that they're hurting me. It's not like that at all.
Sirius is trying so hard, Alice, really. I know he wants to be sure I don't feel odd or left out, either one. And Remus is the same dear as ever, but that's actually- it's hard not to be the way I have all along with him, you know? But that's not right anymore.
So I suppose the answer is that we're still working it out. How we can all be a family together. And I do think they want that, too. I hope. Because otherwise, I'm-
I'm not ready to think about that.
Re: Private Message to Tonks
Date: 2012-02-02 04:41 am (UTC)They have been wrapped up in one another for most of their lives, haven't they? One way or another. Even when they were supposed to not be talking to one another, hate one another even, they just couldn't resist circling back around. I can see how that might leave you feeling more than a little out in the cold, despite their best efforts. Especially seeing as how that's something you don't have control over, and can't change.
I think there's another part to it too, which is that although they both obviously love you dearly, it's a different sort of love than the kind they have for one another. And different than what you felt it used to be with Remus.
So feeling a little off-balance is perfectly understandable. And I'm not sure there are any easy fix-all solutions to it. I'm sorry, though.
I know you're thinking about Bea right now, and trying as hard as you can to make everything work, but have you given thought to what you want for yourself? Besides the immediate, I mean. Sirius and Remus have found one another, but you shouldn't feel like that means you have to deny yourself, and leave off finding someone who can love you the way they love each other. Their happiness doesn't negate your own, you know.
Well. That's probably something that hasn't gotten a lot of attention lately, as you've got no end of things to juggle and sort out and navigate, but you do deserve it, dearest.
And in the mean time, I truly believe that they do want you, not just Bea, but you, for as long as you'll have them, and they do want to make this work as best as it can. It's a new thing. There's all sorts of sorting out left to be done. But they are still trying, and so are you, and that's important.
Do you want to come up and visit for a bit? You could clear your head, be thoroughly pampered, and drink lots of tea.
Re: Private Message to Tonks
Date: 2012-02-02 04:43 am (UTC)Re: Private Message to Tonks
Date: 2012-02-02 05:11 am (UTC)If you see what I'm saying.
Re: Private Message to Tonks
Date: 2012-02-02 05:23 am (UTC)And keep in mind that I can always pop down there too if you ever need a shoulder or an ear in person.
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Date: 2012-01-31 08:32 pm (UTC)Private Message to Remus
Date: 2012-01-31 08:44 pm (UTC)Re: Private Message to Remus
Date: 2012-01-31 08:45 pm (UTC)How are you doing today?
Re: Private Message to Remus
Date: 2012-02-01 12:26 am (UTC)When you get back, I want to show you some of the things up there.
Still no cardigan, sorry.
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Date: 2012-01-31 09:38 pm (UTC)Private Message to Remus Lupin
Date: 2012-01-31 09:45 pm (UTC)Private Message to Sirius Black
Date: 2012-01-31 09:40 pm (UTC)Re: Private Message to Sirius Black
Date: 2012-02-01 12:33 am (UTC)We've just been having problems with that blasted elf. And
Well, they put up with me, so that's a start. Bea's ridiculously clever and she certainly keeps us all on our toes.
Truth be told, I'm a bit worried about our Dora, though. Between the Ministry job, the shop and the beer garden, she's going to go spare soon.
Re: Private Message to Sirius Black
Date: 2012-02-01 12:48 am (UTC)I can see that Tonks would be unwilling to give up her responsibilities at the beer garden. After all, it sort of was her idea, and I know she's gained a good deal of personal satisfaction in providing a safe place for people to gather. Perhaps that's where it comes from? That, and I'd imagine she feels incredibly obligated to "do her bit for the Order" by keeping up at the Ministry -- and I'd bet she doesn't even think of doing less. That it's all right to not do everything all at once, and we wouldn't judge her for it. Both the Ministry work and the garden are important to what we're trying to do, but I wonder if she'd be able to do one more effectively if she wasn't spreading herself thin with the other.
She is a fellow Hufflepuff, and from personal experience, trying to please everyone all the time can be exhausting.
Re: Private Message to Sirius Black
Date: 2012-02-01 12:48 am (UTC)Re: Private Message to Sirius Black
Date: 2012-02-01 01:02 am (UTC)Re: Private Message to Sirius Black
Date: 2012-02-01 01:04 am (UTC)Re: Private Message to Sirius Black
Date: 2012-02-01 01:08 am (UTC)We made him show us one nest - it was Dora going mad looking for a string of pearls prompted that.
But not everything was there, I mean to say, not everything that was missing. There's only one room I hadn't been inside since coming back.
Well.
Moony quite correctly pointed out I was being a right nancy about the whole thing. So. I went up there last night. After supper.
I did find another nest but it turns out, Kreacher wasn't the only inhabitant of this house who liked to hoard other people's things. Not a surprise, that.
Anyway. I suppose I'd been putting it off long enough.
Re: Private Message to Sirius Black
Date: 2012-02-01 01:27 am (UTC)I wondered why you seemed a bit down. I'm sorry, love. I'd imagine it's reopened a wound or two to revisit his room. And he'd been staying there, hadn't he? Right before.
I can see why you'd want to leave off going into his room until you were ready to.
Did he leave anything about what he was up to? Where he went?
Re: Private Message to Sirius Black
Date: 2012-02-01 01:51 am (UTC)So many books, though. Letters from Miss Parkinson. Including a few books that - well, that he meant to send to her, looks like.
It's ... odd. There are things he clearly left midstream. And there are things he ... things I think he was leaving to be done by someone else.
Whatever happened, he knew he wasn't coming back.
I should have
Re: Private Message to Sirius Black
Date: 2012-02-01 02:10 am (UTC)And from what we know of it all, he was under such scrutiny, it's hard to imagine him even being able to go off the way he did.
I can't imagine how hopeless it must've felt for you to have been so far away from him. But you mustn't think you're to blame for what happened.
Re: Private Message to Sirius Black
Date: 2012-02-01 02:22 am (UTC)I'm not talking about this time. Not entirely. Circe, I could have - I dunno. He told me, that last time we talked - well, through the journals but you know what I mean - he said that I abandoned him. When I left home.
He's right.
Re: Private Message to Sirius Black
Date: 2012-02-01 02:34 am (UTC)It's only natural to look back with the wisdom of years, seeing the consequences of actions you took ages ago, knowing the outcome, and figuring out how things might have been different. But it's another thing entirely to be that young person, in the middle of that situation, and act. Would you have done differently if you'd have known what you know now? Undoubtedly.
Could you have known what you know now at the time? No.
Re: Private Message to Sirius Black
Date: 2012-02-01 02:46 am (UTC)Well.
On a practical note ... these books he wanted to have sent to Miss Parkinson. I don't see how I can arrange it, without leading her to realise where I am.
Re: Private Message to Sirius Black
Date: 2012-02-01 02:53 am (UTC)You don't want Lucius's ward camping out on your doorstep the next chance she gets?
I don't blame you for that.
And I wouldn't put it past her.
Perhaps if you tell her that he sent them to you while you were in France, but you've only now had a chance to send them?
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Date: 2012-02-01 03:57 am (UTC)I do hope you enjoy the cider, though you might want to go slowly as it's got quite a kick to it.
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Date: 2012-02-01 04:34 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-02-01 04:40 am (UTC)Many happy returns of the day.