Order Only: Remus or Dora
Mar. 19th, 2012 02:31 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
alt_siriusBloody Erebus.
It's that Malone woman. Gloria, right?
Remus, she's asking about her outfit. I get the impression you told her you'd quite like the look of the new fashion - that diaphanous layer meringue sort of thing - but. Sweet Circe, she looks like a walrus in a tutu in that getup.
Tell me you did not encourage this?
And how do you normally get rid of her, Mr Ponds? I've only got a moment; I told her I needed to bring out more of the tea cakes. Bugger, now she'll want one.
It's that Malone woman. Gloria, right?
Remus, she's asking about her outfit. I get the impression you told her you'd quite like the look of the new fashion - that diaphanous layer meringue sort of thing - but. Sweet Circe, she looks like a walrus in a tutu in that getup.
Tell me you did not encourage this?
And how do you normally get rid of her, Mr Ponds? I've only got a moment; I told her I needed to bring out more of the tea cakes. Bugger, now she'll want one.
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Date: 2012-03-19 06:41 pm (UTC)Bloody hell, I'm sorry you're having to deal with her. I never said anything about wanting to see HER in those flimsy robes, I just failed to agree with her the other day when she was insisting they were indecent.
If she thinks they're indecent then why's she wearing one now? Maybe you could run her off if you brought THAT up.
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Date: 2012-03-19 06:48 pm (UTC)She certainly seems to think you wanted to see what they'd look like on her. Or maybe it's that she wants to see if you'd care to take them off of her.
She's sure not disappointed that Junius is all alone this afternoon.
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Date: 2012-03-19 06:54 pm (UTC)Bah.
I felt sorry for her, when she first came round -- her husband left her because he was a pureblood and thought he could do better. She's a half-blood and might be slightly less than half, at least she's hinted at that on occasion. It was rather a blow, apparently, and I tried to be kind, and she took that as interest, which it wasn't.
I've been trying to maintain a conscientious professional distance with her but she's not taking the hint.
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Date: 2012-03-19 06:59 pm (UTC)Seeing as 'I'm a married wizard' apparently means nothing. And I don't mean today. I mean all the times she comes round looking for a 'man's opinion' or a 'wizard's touch' and all that.
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Date: 2012-03-19 07:06 pm (UTC)Clearly we need to find a nice SINGLE wizard who comes round on a regular basis, and point her at THAT bloke.
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Date: 2012-03-19 07:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-03-19 09:45 pm (UTC)I didn't see all this earlier. (Was trying to talk people out of their baby, you know. Such a distraction from important negotiations like this.)
Sounds as if what you blokes need is me to deal with this horrifying would-be manhandler. (A 'wizard's touch', eh? Terrifying, that.)
We could see how she stands up to a properly cross wife, do you think?
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Date: 2012-03-20 02:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-03-20 01:24 pm (UTC)Apparently the only thing she's noticed about her little visits is that the Ponds dog doesn't seem to like her much. She was vocally relieved that Padfoot wasn't there to bring on her nerves.
Still, it's not as if our Remus is going to succumb to her wiles, is it? Apparently the only thing he's noticed is that she's obviously lonely. (Not hard to spot but not half what's wrong with her, I'd say. But you know him, he's dead oblivious to that sort of thing.)
She ought to just give over and sniff about somewhere else. That Wagstaff fellow in the journals sounds like he's not too picky; maybe we could throw her in that direction.
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Date: 2012-03-20 02:02 pm (UTC)I'll pay her a visit before we open tonight, maybe.
If we're going to open. Wonder if this rain is going to let up by then.
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Date: 2012-03-19 06:43 pm (UTC)Almost.
I normally stay thoroughly businesslike and wait for her to get bored, ordinarily. You might try pretending you'd completely forgotten the conversation you had with her earlier in the week because she's just not particularly memorable as a customer; that might offend her and she'll go off in a huff?
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Date: 2012-03-19 06:50 pm (UTC)Unless of course you've got a secret kink for that sort of thing? Or Junius has? Don't tell me this has all been part of your clever plan to set up a credible reason for Junius to leave Dora. Because if that's what you have in mind we'll all have to have another little chat when you lot get back.
Speaking of that, where are you? Haven't you found the little girl by now?
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Date: 2012-03-19 06:51 pm (UTC)2. We've found her. Her parents -- especially her mum -- have rather a lot of questions.
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Date: 2012-03-19 07:00 pm (UTC)Mr Ponds, luv. Could you step back out here and help a bit?
Actually. What've you got in your pockets? Anything charmed?
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Date: 2012-03-19 07:05 pm (UTC)Why?
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Date: 2012-03-19 07:10 pm (UTC)Well, Helen wants to see something magical. I only had one of Bea's soothers, but the charm on that doesn't seem enough to satisfy her 'scientific interest'. She's really serious about it. And I'm doing a rubbish job answering her questions. At least come out and talk Charms with her--you're much better at that than I am.
All I can do is make my nose change shape, and that just made her go pale.
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Date: 2012-03-19 07:13 pm (UTC)We could send Kreacher with something if you like. The kettle?
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Date: 2012-03-19 07:25 pm (UTC)Only, we wouldn't get it back. She wants to keep it and take it apart.
The mum, she's really intelligent. Well, the dad, too. But she's been studying us--wizards, I mean--for a long time. Not just watching us like all of them must do to try to see how to get round the guards and keep from being punished, but studying as in trying to figure out how magic works. I suppose so they could figure out how to protect themselves or how to fight it.
So she's asking all these questions. Wants to see some artefacts so she can try to see how they work.
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Date: 2012-03-19 07:31 pm (UTC)Would you be willing to give up your knickers organiser? Or whatever that thing was you decided to keep?
Oh, how about a self-inking quill? That's easy enough and we've got some in the shop.
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Date: 2012-03-19 07:35 pm (UTC)And you're right about Kreacher, so he'd never bring that thing: it's got your mum's monogram on it.
A quill's an idea. A bit simple, but hang on.
Helen says she'd like to see one of those, definitely. But she wants to know if she couldn't have something else. If we're really going to send for something.
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Date: 2012-03-20 01:10 pm (UTC)I can see why you'd want that, then. Novelty value alone.
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Date: 2012-03-20 02:04 pm (UTC)It doesn't look well to be that fixed on your Mum's knickers.
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Date: 2012-03-19 07:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-03-19 07:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-03-19 07:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-03-19 07:37 pm (UTC)From the Frost Faire, you know.
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Date: 2012-03-19 07:39 pm (UTC)Sirius, look under the counter. There's a little snow globe someone left behind a few weeks ago, on one of the tables in the beer garden -- I kept it in case they came back looking, but they haven't.
It's a souvenir. Shows about a dozen scenes and makes noises if you shake it.
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Date: 2012-03-19 07:40 pm (UTC)Of course, to go and get it I've got to face the HMS Malone again.
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Date: 2012-03-19 07:46 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-03-19 07:48 pm (UTC)(Speaking of which, thanks for telling Kingsley he'd got the wrong end of the wand there.)
Besides, I've left her alone out there for far too long.
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Date: 2012-03-19 07:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-03-19 07:39 pm (UTC)(It doesn't show any of the horrors. Just things like making the bridge, fireworks, that sort of cheery thing.)
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Date: 2012-03-19 07:53 pm (UTC)'You expect me to give you my daughter,' he said. 'Why shouldn't I expect you to give me something YOU value?'
Maybe I'll send Kreacher back for that pocket watch, eh?
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Date: 2012-03-19 08:01 pm (UTC)It's a shame we can't let her spend a day with Arthur. Apparently she used to design muggle aeroplanes. Robert was a librarian.
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Date: 2012-03-19 08:06 pm (UTC)I told Kreacher to add in Father's copy of A Concise Theorem on Magickal Prackticalitie. He put up a fuss but I ordered him to bring it to me. Just put a concealing spell on it when you give it to them.
Call him and he'll come to you.
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Date: 2012-03-19 08:09 pm (UTC)That elf.
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Date: 2012-03-19 08:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-03-19 08:14 pm (UTC)And you know how foul that can be.
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Date: 2012-03-19 08:20 pm (UTC)Fortunately, they seemed to find him funny. 'Like being insulted by a giant frog,' is what Helen said.
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Date: 2012-03-19 08:12 pm (UTC)I'm putting a charm on the book to make it invisible to everyone but Jane's parents; a 'don't notice me' charm in case that one fails for some reason; and if somehow both charms fail, hopefully it will look to anyone who picks it up like a muggle romance novel from the old days. The sort where the woman on the cover is swooning in the man's arms.
They were delighted by the book -- both of them. Good thought.
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Date: 2012-03-19 08:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-03-19 08:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-03-19 08:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-03-19 08:22 pm (UTC)Only, it's sad.
I'm on my way with the baby. Remus is staying to deal with the clean up. The fake parchmentwork.
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Date: 2012-03-19 08:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-03-19 08:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-03-19 08:19 pm (UTC)